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Personal Stories and Examples of Coercive Control

Many people who experience Coercive Control are often too afraid or otherwise unable to share their stories. Perpetrators have a way of maintaining psychological and/or emotional control long after their victims have achieved freedom. Therefore, the following personal stories and examples are all anonymous to ensure safety for the victims. 

If you would like to share your experience/s of Coercive Control in Groups or Domestic settings please send them to

Coercive control is a sum of its parts. Individual components don’t always equate to extreme abuse, but once incidents are put together they are evidence of coercive control.

The following are a combination of “parts” and “sums” that people have experienced in real life.

  • We were asked by my boss in a staff meeting to use “grace” and accept a pay cut that was below the industry standard so as the organisation could get itself out of financial difficulty ~ Organisational abuse
  • I was expected to do all the housework in addition to earning a full time wage, even though my partner was unemployed and stayed home all day. If I fell short of doing chores like washing clothes, he would criticise me for being a “bad mother” (by yelling and/or other verbal abuse). No matter how hard I tried, I could not live up to my partner’s expectations ~ Domestic violence
  • When setting the table for the group I sometimes forgot things, like putting out particular condiments for the leader’s dietary needs. Consequently, I was reprimanded and humiliated for being “out of spirit” ~ Group abuse
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